I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
