She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
