is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
