i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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