I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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