You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
