You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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