pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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