Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He has the fingertips of a God
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