let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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