Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
