i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
