haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
