Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we have officially lost it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
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woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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