Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
