I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
