she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
