woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
