Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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