He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So vagazzling was a success
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
