I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
