so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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