She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
