Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
