How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
