Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
