Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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