For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
