dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
