Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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