i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
