Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
