Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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