Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
