Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
