I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
