Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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