God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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