I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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