it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
