Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
