Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize