I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
