She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
