I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize