She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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