My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You need a sexual gate keeper
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
