can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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