One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
