I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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