This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
