I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
