Nicole vs. Life
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
