I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
