Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize