It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
