Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize