Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
