I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
