had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
