Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
