i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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