Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
