Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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