We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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